I think as far as the balloon game went...in terms of winners and losers? It shook out abouuuuuuuuuuuuut how he expected it to: 1) He figured after the bidding game, everyone would definitely be popping Baritones balloons, so no matter how hard they played, they were bound to lose 2) Sensitiv, taisho, and zrael all play hard to survive. Who else was going to survive he figured would just be a popularity contest.
A part of him hoped they would live as proof that playing soft in all these games could help change peoples view on their team. However, they didn't live. So, he doesn't fault Whisky and Plover for wanting to play harder. Whisky and Plover want to protect Wild City and playing soft hasn't worked. They've been very good about letting WC play soft for this long. Contrary to what some people may think, he's not running or even trying to run the 'Silver show'. The softs had their turn, so it's time for the hard players to get their way.
He's sure playing hard may help in the short run on /some/ games, but he doesn't think Whisky or Plover understand the long term circumstances and headaches; SEE EX: Baritones in the balloon game... You can play as hard as you want and that'll help you in some games, but fuck you over in others. Plus he's aware swinging from hard to soft to hard just reinforces their team being seen as "unpredictable" which "unpredictable" and "unknown" are the main reasons he thinks people are nervous about them???
He's sure North will probably take issue with playing hard, but....he has been very clear about 'look, you have friends from home on almost every team, it is not possible to protect all of them' and trying to get everyone to pick their ONE personal priority to protect.
He's tired. He really deeply cares about Wild City and doesn't want to see them hurt or feel like they have no voice. He's not going to weigh in anymore on games outside of wanting to protect Gold (I say that now but when has Silver ever been able to not care and try). He's already talked it out with and ageed to get over the Coyote thing from the balloon game. So he's really trying to not let his mind bring up Coyote jumping into his conversation with North because he knows she didn't mean ill by it, but it just kind of....hurt him at a fundamental core? To basically (even though it was unintentional) have it implied he only cares about looking after his own interests. When he. Does his best to try and hear and balance everyone's feelings? And then when he tried to talk it out...got basically told he was trying to paint himself as the victim... Again, he knows Coyote is just rough around the edges and didn't have ill intentions and was just blowing off steam so he's let it go and doesn't hold it against her. Just wow, it kinda hurt even if it was just yelling but then he goes and gets mad at himself for being sensitive about it /laughs in volleyball.
It just kind of makes him question how he comes across to the newbies and what they think of him. One of the things that bugs Silver most in any relationship is not knowing where he stands. He feels awkward because he definitely feels the newbies are closer with each other than him. Which he knows isn't true and probably is just stemming from his own insecurities about not having friends back home. Silver has great self esteem....when it comes to volleyball and his looks and being able to be generically likable. When it comes to relationships deeper than surface level though...it's not like he has a lot of experience with that. And being a perfectionist, it makes him frustrated and beat himself up a little. He just winds up feeling like he's too big for his skin.
Add to that he's still not used to having a team this big... Having Haruto and Aries gone is very hard on him because they've been with him since day one. He can't be as clingy with Whisky as he could with them, so its just very...he's lacking an important touchstone and support and he miiiight be spiraling a bit.
The petty parts of his heart are 1) disappointed in the community for basically proving there is no improving their reputation 2) hurt by haruto and aries for being gone this long (yes he knows it wasnt by choice, but we're talking small petty thoughts not logic silver) 3) wishes his team tried harder/was better at social games rather than just murder and death games (again he knows just like death games are hard for him, social games are hard for them and that the harder games are actually the things they know) 4) lowkey does feel he should get to protect gold every game because it IS his actual real life family and not some friend he's maybe had for a year or a boyfriend he's had for a couple months (knows its important to be considerate of the rest of the teams feeling and the fact that these are their important people regardless of length of relationship) 5) feels like the newbies lowkey feel he's trying to boss them around or bully his way or hide things from them or whatever...basically he's not sure how much they trust him. Again, these are just petty!Silver or insecure!Silver thoughts, not normal, logic Silver. Just...invasive thoughts that float across his mind sometimes.
What are the things B likes least and most about each of his friends?
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2019-05-20 11:57 pm (UTC)A part of him hoped they would live as proof that playing soft in all these games could help change peoples view on their team. However, they didn't live. So, he doesn't fault Whisky and Plover for wanting to play harder. Whisky and Plover want to protect Wild City and playing soft hasn't worked. They've been very good about letting WC play soft for this long. Contrary to what some people may think, he's not running or even trying to run the 'Silver show'. The softs had their turn, so it's time for the hard players to get their way.
He's sure playing hard may help in the short run on /some/ games, but he doesn't think Whisky or Plover understand the long term circumstances and headaches; SEE EX: Baritones in the balloon game... You can play as hard as you want and that'll help you in some games, but fuck you over in others. Plus he's aware swinging from hard to soft to hard just reinforces their team being seen as "unpredictable" which "unpredictable" and "unknown" are the main reasons he thinks people are nervous about them???
He's sure North will probably take issue with playing hard, but....he has been very clear about 'look, you have friends from home on almost every team, it is not possible to protect all of them' and trying to get everyone to pick their ONE personal priority to protect.
He's tired. He really deeply cares about Wild City and doesn't want to see them hurt or feel like they have no voice. He's not going to weigh in anymore on games outside of wanting to protect Gold (I say that now but when has Silver ever been able to not care and try). He's already talked it out with and ageed to get over the Coyote thing from the balloon game. So he's really trying to not let his mind bring up Coyote jumping into his conversation with North because he knows she didn't mean ill by it, but it just kind of....hurt him at a fundamental core? To basically (even though it was unintentional) have it implied he only cares about looking after his own interests. When he. Does his best to try and hear and balance everyone's feelings? And then when he tried to talk it out...got basically told he was trying to paint himself as the victim... Again, he knows Coyote is just rough around the edges and didn't have ill intentions and was just blowing off steam so he's let it go and doesn't hold it against her. Just wow, it kinda hurt even if it was just yelling but then he goes and gets mad at himself for being sensitive about it /laughs in volleyball.
It just kind of makes him question how he comes across to the newbies and what they think of him. One of the things that bugs Silver most in any relationship is not knowing where he stands. He feels awkward because he definitely feels the newbies are closer with each other than him. Which he knows isn't true and probably is just stemming from his own insecurities about not having friends back home. Silver has great self esteem....when it comes to volleyball and his looks and being able to be generically likable. When it comes to relationships deeper than surface level though...it's not like he has a lot of experience with that. And being a perfectionist, it makes him frustrated and beat himself up a little. He just winds up feeling like he's too big for his skin.
Add to that he's still not used to having a team this big... Having Haruto and Aries gone is very hard on him because they've been with him since day one. He can't be as clingy with Whisky as he could with them, so its just very...he's lacking an important touchstone and support and he miiiight be spiraling a bit.
The petty parts of his heart are 1) disappointed in the community for basically proving there is no improving their reputation 2) hurt by haruto and aries for being gone this long (yes he knows it wasnt by choice, but we're talking small petty thoughts not logic silver) 3) wishes his team tried harder/was better at social games rather than just murder and death games (again he knows just like death games are hard for him, social games are hard for them and that the harder games are actually the things they know) 4) lowkey does feel he should get to protect gold every game because it IS his actual real life family and not some friend he's maybe had for a year or a boyfriend he's had for a couple months (knows its important to be considerate of the rest of the teams feeling and the fact that these are their important people regardless of length of relationship) 5) feels like the newbies lowkey feel he's trying to boss them around or bully his way or hide things from them or whatever...basically he's not sure how much they trust him. Again, these are just petty!Silver or insecure!Silver thoughts, not normal, logic Silver. Just...invasive thoughts that float across his mind sometimes.
What are the things B likes least and most about each of his friends?